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Location: GUIs > Windows > Windows 8 Leaked Alpha

Windows 8 Alpha Preview
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Windows 8 Ultmate WTF

Windows 8, code name "Rick" will be rolling in to a computer near you in the next year or two. As always, people are mindlessly drooling over the latest Microsoft works in progress as if there were porn or something. So d00ds, herez you totally 1337 leaked top secret beta of Windows 8!!!!!11!!111

According to uber-classified Microsoft sources, Windows 8 is "all different", you won't even recognize Windows 8 when it is done, and it won't be anything like what you expect!

Direct Youtube link:

Here is a video of Windows 8 in action. Microsoft promises Windows 8 is never gonna give you up and never gonna let you down!

Windows 8 Boot Screen
Windows 8 booting up. Windows 8 is designed to run on the latest Intel IA-64, IA-128, and IA-16384 technologies, capable of running in 2, 128, or sixteen hojillion bit mode respectively.

Windows 8
The Windows 8 welcome screen. Windows 8 is guaranteed not to be a lame duck! Windows 8 represents all of the absolutely mind boggling latest and greatest almighty Microsoft technologies. Windows 8 will supe up even the slowest computers and make them zip, zoom, and give them more power! Bill Gates is delivering on his promise to once again revolutionize PC computing with Windows 8.

Windows 8 Balmer
Balmer says "LOL. Bill Gates is a quack."

Windows 8 Areo Theme
The new, even more realistic, Areo theme is so sharp you can cut yourself on it!

Windows 8 Linux integration
Windows 8, with all of its hot new features, is getting a very warm reception from Linux and BSD users alike. Windows 8 promises to fuel the needs of PCs and servers for a very long time to come.

Windows 8 core technology

Duck roll recipe

    * 600g cooked crispy duck, skinned and boned, meat coarsely chopped
    * 100g finely chopped spring onions
    * 3 tbsp hoisin sauce
    * 12 spring roll skins, (20x20cm, 2-3mm thick)
    * 1 cucumber, unpeeled, seeded and sliced into 12 strips, 7x1cm
    * 1 tbsp plain flour mixed with 2 tbsp water or 1 beaten egg yolk
    * 250ml vegetable oil, for deep-frying
    * 4 banana leaves, cut and shaped as desired

The duck roll is a lie

1. Mix the crispy duck, spring onions and hoisin sauce together and reserve.

2. Fold the spring roll skin in half diagonally into a triangle shape. The top half should be 1cm away from the edge of the bottom half thus creating a ‘layered’ effect.

3. At the base of the triangle, place one-twelfth of the mixture about 2cm away from the edge nearest to you. This mixture should be shaped in a rectangle. Place a strip of cucumber on top, lengthways. Fold the two sides of the triangle into the middle, pressing the skin around the mixture, then roll the skin up from the bottom to form the roll. Seal the end flap of the triangle with the flour-and-water or flour-and-egg wash as desired.

4. Deep-fry the rolls in vegetable oil at 165°C for 2-2½ minutes or until the duck rolls turn golden. Cut each duck roll in half diagonally across the middle. Arrange each portion of duck roll (three rolls per person) on a banana leaf and serve immediately.

Windows 8 developer innovations
One of the new development features of Windows 8 is the ability to bind thing physically together. And by innovativly integrating our good friend Clippy with this feature and some chewing gum, one can MacGyver just about anything!

Windows 8 - More Windows
And another picture of Windows!

Windows 8 desktop
Microsoft has at long last copied EVERY feature from MacOS X in Windows 8. In fact, now it is MacOS X!

Windows 8 browsing Slashdot
And the obligatory screen shot of Slashdot in Windows 8, now with Internet Explorer 9! Turning off the themes, Windows 8 now looks sane again.

Windows 8, Windows 8, Windows 8
Windows 8, Windows 8 Windows 8, Windows 8, Windows 8, Windows 8, Windows 8, Windows 8. More about Windows 8. Whoop! Windows 8!

Windows 8 advertisment
Bill Gates posing for Windows 8. Like most Windows 8 marketing material, millions of loyal Microsoft consumers will wank off to it while thinking about the next great version of Windows, Windows 8.

Underneath the hood Windows 8, like Windows 7, Vista, XP, 2000, and NT 4, really isn't that radically different from the original Windows NT (Just a reminder the first version of NT was named 3.1 because it was visually on par with the DOS based Windows 3.1). And at this point, there is very little anyone could add that a regular user would care about.

Windows 8 Phase 3: Profit!
When asked about Windows 8, Bill Gates replied "It's going to make me a lot of f***ing money!".

Shutting Down Windows 8
And finally, shutting down Windows 8.

Next time: Windows 9, code name "goats"!