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 FFUN
Homepage
 Voices
from the FFUN:
How to contact "FFUN": Write
or send letter bombs to:
email
at
call us at 1-800-BITE-ME |
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 BREAKUP
UNDERWAY!
After more than a hundred years of appeals, the the Microsoft - DOJ conflict has come to an end and a breakup is finally underway. REDMOND, Wash. - September 3, 2103 - Microsoft Corp. announced that after more than 100 years of appealing DOJs ruling that it will discontinue the appeals and settle for a breakup. The DOJ will be broken up in to various justice divisions that will be purchased by the all-powerful Microsoft corporation and innovatively integrated to dispense Microsoft Active Justice (tm) to the new Unites States of Microsoft. The breakup of the DOJ was the last hurdle in Microsoft's battle for complete government control. The first thing to change will be the currency. All currency must now carry the phrase "In Bill we trust", and will sport pictures of past Microsoft CEOs. It will no longer be referred to as "money", but rather as "Active Money" indicating it's increased value as an integrated innovative Microsoft product that benefits the consumer. The preserved head of Bill Gates was on hand to comment: "The DOJ wanted to take away our freedom to innovate. We proved how necessary this was back in 2079 when the internet was completely replaced by cyber-nural implant communication. We integrated our existing collective processing technologies with this technology and innovated an entirely new way of life of the people of Earth. If we had not been allowed to do this, we would never have been able to build our fleet of cube-shaped space ships to assimilate our newly found space-neighbors to this wonderful new technology. Now our innovations will benefit consumers all over the universe!" A small group of anti-Microsoft protesters gathered at the remains of the White House to protest the breakup of the DOJ and once again accuse Microsoft of being responsible for the extinction of the penguin. The protesters were quickly shot and killed by Microsoft Active Police. Steve Balmer clone #7 said "Im glad this is over and there is no on one on earth to oppose us legally. We can now get back to crushing competition and integrating stupid shit in to our operating system" The president of
the former United States of America could not be found for comment. Roomer
has it that his feet had been integrated in to a concrete block and innovated
to the bottom of the ocean.
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