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How to contact "FFUN":

Write or send letter bombs to:
Freedom to Fuck Users Network
666 Evil Dr.
Redmond, WA
98052-666

email at
nul@micro$oft.com

call us at 1-800-BITE-ME 

	Send Us Comments Submit your comments to Microsoft using their new Active Brickwall server extension technology.  Contact Your Elected Officials And let them know that you don't appreciate being fucked over by Microsoft.

Copyright: You are all thieves! It is our goal to make every last person pay for our products, even if you don't use them. We want every last cent that we are due - no exceptions. We will be purchasing our own police Gestapo and sending them to inspect your computer soon. We are also succeeding in getting governments to pass laws declaring any non-Microsoft software illegal. 

Competition: The U.S. software industry is healthy, dynamic, and highly competitive - we don't like this and plan to correct the situation. The software industry will soon control the U.S. economy. At its core, our success is dependent on our freedom to screw users and companies over. We must prevent them from bringing new technologies to market and keep our costs high. Once competition is crushed, we will keep dumping the same old shit on the users but make it look fancier so users think they are getting something new and pay us lots of money.  If the government tries to stop us we will just stick our fingers in our ears and sing "Jingle bells, regulation smells..." at the top of our lungs.

Worldwide: We plan on buying china, europe, and every other country as well. 

Digital Signatures: We want to be able to forge any digital signature we want. We will probably come up with some proprietary technology of our own and shove it down everybody's throats like we do everything else. Of course, it will only run on Windows with IE. 

Privacy: In the new Microsoft World, there is no privacy. Nobody can hide their secrets from the all mighty Microsoft! 

Education and Workforce Development: Microsoft plans on getting Congress to let us import smart people from other countries because people here in the US are just too stupid. In the mean time Microsoft will teach the next generation to exclusively use Microsoft products.

Safeguarding Our Critical Infrastructures: The world has become dependent on computers. This is good for us, because we currently control a large number of these computers. By threatening to pull existing licenses, we are forming partnerships with companies to ensure that they are using homogeneous Microsoft solutions. This partnership seeks to address potential competitive threats to the Microsoft products upon which our nation's essential services now depend. 

Broadband Deployment: Users require faster, continuous access to their porn. Faster access is good for us too because it allows us faster, continuos access to their personal information. We are using (ahem) "special incentives" to get communications companies to roll-out broad band technology more rapidly. (Hey, we want to look at porn too!)

On-Line Safety and Security: Microsoft is dedicated to an internet that is safe and secure from non-microsoft products. We publish propaganda about how wonderful your life will be if you keep your home or business free of third rate software like Linux or MacOS. We work with computer manufactures to ensure that only high-quality Microsoft operating system and applications are pre-installed on your computer. We also work with law enforcement to ensure that your software is genuine Microsoft software, and not some "alternative". Ultimately, we believe that proprietary technological solutions, business and consumer education, and fake user "empowerment" are the most effective ways to prevent non-microsoft activity on the Internet. 

Expanding the Digital Divide:
The on-line community is typically very dumb. This is good for microsoft because we can do whatever the heck we want with them. They know nothing about technology, so if we do something bad they just think "hey, this is technology and microsoft knows what is best for us". Right now we will feed these users with Microsoft's fattening products and then we will harvest them. 

Accessibility: Now we have to mention disabled folks to make ourselves look good. The truth is we don't give a swivel fuck about them. Most disabled folks simply don't have as much money as normal, healthy people do. No money, no care. But mentioning them in our advertising, for some weird reason, makes people all warm and fuzzy toward us. Suckers.

Internet Taxation: If bill gates is made president he will implement an internet usage tax. 

Research and Development: Microsoft will find innovative new ways to separate you from your money and otherwise fuck you over. Microsoft spends loads of money developing new software products, but never once has Microsoft done any research to determine if what the software does makes any sense. But if it doesn't, then that's ok, we will just bundle it with the operating system, take out the option to uninstall, claim it is "integrated", and reap in the cash.

*****
Founded at the beginning of time, Microsoft (Nasdaq "MSFT") controls the universe. The company offers a wide range of products and services all of which require Microsoft Internet Explorer be installed. For further information, please contact Microsoft Law,  Corporate Affairs and Marketing, 1-800-EAT-SHIT.