During this install you
will hear a bunch of Microsoft propoganda that will make you believe that
Windows 98 is the best thing since sliced bread.
Just Got Better
Windows 98 helps
you get the most out of your computer by making it easier to use, more
reliable, faster, and more entertaining.
Easier to use: Folder options and
utilities out the wazoo, toolbars and usless help descriptions all over
the place? Too many options makes the user interface confusing and difficult
to use. Oh, and those scrolling pop up menus handle like crap.
More reliable: Bullshit. IE 4 adds
a huge pile of bugs so it is not more reliable than Windows 95.
Faster: LIE! Only an idiot
(and there are plenty of them) could possibly believe that Microsoft would
ever make anything that is faster than the previous version, and only Microsoft
could get away with saying that it is so! Actually, if it weren't
for IE 4 it might actually be a hair faster.
More entertaining: True, the Windows
98 user interface gives me a good laugh.
This new release
includes hundreds of enhancements and new features based on customer requests
and product support experiences.
Like its predecessor,
Windows 98 supports new, cutting-edge technologies, while at the same time
providing the best support for your current hardware and programs.
What customer asked for IE 4 to
be forced, uninstallably, on to the user interface? Microsoft doesn't listen
to customers! Jeze.
Cutting edge technologies? What
the hell are they talking about? There is nothing in Windows 98 that hasn't
been done elsewhere, earlier, and better.
"for your current hardware" means
NEW hardware bought from the store that has USB devices and TV tuner crap
in it. Win 98 won't improve shit on your old P90 who's only add-on was
a CD-ROM drive.
Best support for current programs:
True, because to force people to "upgrade" to Windows 98 many new Microsoft
programs, and progrograms written by companies that are in bed with M$,
will no longer work on Windows 95 or at least without IE 4.
Your computer and
the Internet are easier to use than ever before. Simplified navigation
features like the Back, Forward, and Favorites buttons make it easier to
move among files, programs, and Internet sites.
Many people, including myself find
this more awkward.
Windows 98 also makes
it easier for you to select and open files and programs. You can select
a file simply by moving the mouse pointer over it, and you can open a file
or program with a single click.
to Get Help
If you have questions
about using Windows 98, it's easy to get answers. Windows 98 has
a built-in Help system that is informative and easy to use.
So does Windows 3.0. Actually, I
liked Windows 3.0's help system better.
If you have access
to the Internet, you can visit the new Windows Update site, a Web-based
extension of Windows 98 that includes the latest product assistance information.
And let Bill know what is on your
hard drive while you are at it. And since it is all automatic, who knows
what Bill will do to "update" your system... such as remove competitors
You to the Web
If you want to use
the Internet, it’s never been easier or faster.
It's never been easier or faster
for Bill to take your money. Sign up for the Microscrew Network today!
The Internet Connection
wizard helps you configure your system and sign up with an Internet service
provider of your choice.
But not with the browser of your
choice. While we are at it, does everybody and their mother *really* need
to be on the Internet?
For fast Web access,
link several modems or quickly set up your ISDN connection by using the
I don't think everybody and his
mother is going to do that.
the Web to Your Desktop
The integration of
Windows 98 and Internet Explorer gives you the most rewarding way to use
Rewarding to Microsoft as they crush
New Explorer Bars,
like Search, History, and Favorites, make it easier to find information.
And slow down your system and clutter
up your desktop making it harder to find information.
You can schedule
automatic content delivery to your desktop. You can customize your Windows
desktop by using a Web page as a background. You can easily create
your own Web pages by using FrontPage Express.
A web page... as a background....
why? Somebody please tell me why!
Front page express blows.
Windows 98 gives
you exciting tools that help you communicate and collaborate with family
and colleagues worldwide.
You can e-mail family,
meet face-to-face online with business associates, or watch a live presentation
using the Internet.
Face to Face? Even if neither of
you have a vidcam on your computer? Microsoft says Windows 98 will magically
provide new hardware for you.
Using Outlook Express,
not only can you send and receive e-mail messages and participate in newsgroups,
you can also manage multiple e-mail accounts.
So you can receive twice as much
spam from Microsoft
Using NetShow, you
can experience events as they're happening because your computer can receive
live or streaming multimedia from the Internet.
There are many other applications
that can do that, and better.
You can hold online
videoconferences, chat, and share resources by using NetMeeting.
Windows 98 helps
you get top-notch performance without adding new hardware. Programs start
and run faster.
But thanks to IE 4 you will need
to get at least another 16 megs of ram, you will probably need a larger
hard drive to hold that huge ass mandatory browser, you will want faster
video because of all of the animated menus and smooth scrolling list boxes.
If you don't have a modem, all of that advertising on the desktop will
pretty much convince you that you need one because every idiot needs to
be on the internet. You will need a bigger monitor to fit all of those
oversized droolbars and extra fluff. You will need a faster CPU to keep
overactive desktop happy.
Programs run faster: They would
run faster because of a slightly better defragger, but IE 4 slows that
all down to a crawl, so any speed improvements get flushed down the toilet.
The Maintenance wizard
suggests ways to improve your computer's performance and schedules regular
The maintenance wizard suggest that
to improve your computers performance you uninstall Windows 98.
Many new computers
start instantly using the OnNow power management feature.
How about OffNow?
Gain extra disk space
by converting your hard disk to the FAT32 file system.
This file system
also supports large capacity drives.
This is all supported in Windows
95 OSR2. Not that Bill would ever sell anyone a copy of OSR 2 directly
because he knew that would decrease the sales of IE 4, er, I mean Windows
With hundreds of
enhancements and a new suite of wizards and smart tools, Windows 98 helps
you keep your computer running smoothly.
The new Registry
Checker monitors registry files and automatically repairs and restores
the files as necessary.
Oh, super! Utilities to work around
bugs and design flaws in Windows. Just what we need.
Windows 98 is year
Microsoft has purchased the year
2000 and has made sure it is compatible with Windows 98.
System File Checker
automatically locates modified or corrupted system files and then repairs
and restores them.
Another utility to work around bugs
and design flaws in Windows.
If your system is
shut down improperly or there is a hard disk error, ScanDisk runs automatically
to ensure that your hard disk is in good working condition.
So does Windows 95 OSR2
By converging real-time
2-D and 3-D graphics, digital video and audio, and the Internet, Windows
98 redefines the role of the computer as an entertainment platform.
In other words, your computer is
now a *fancy* toy.
With support for
DVD, digital audio, and processors with MMX™ technology, you can watch
full-motion, full-screen multimedia titles on your computer. With support
for multiple monitors, you can extend your Windows desktop onto several
Watch movies on your stupid TV,
that's what it is there for.
Multiple monitors? You have to have
Windows 98 to do that? I have seen PC/XTs with multiple monitors!
* MMX is a trademark of Intel Corporation
Games are more engaging
and exciting with DirectX 5 capabilities, including digital audio, support
for force feedback joysticks, and enhanced graphics and 3D.
DirectX 5 provides
the fastest graphics and video performance for computer games.
DirectX 5 is available for Windows
Windows 98 supports
more than a thousand new printers, modems, monitors, network adapters,
and other hardware devices.
That are also supported on every
other operating system.
Support for the new
Universal Serial Bus (USB) provides a universal connection for many of
the most popular devices like scanners and cameras. You simply plug in
a USB device, and your system reconfigures itself. You don't even need
to restart your computer.
Of course, Microsoft has conspired
with hardware vendors to make sure that Microsoft is the only provider
of drivers for USB and that it only works right in Windows 98. I suppose
this is for the good of the consumer as well.
Windows 98 provides
new accessibility features that make it easier for people to interact with
enlarges a portion of your screen up to nine times its normal size. You
can invert colors and use a high-contrast color scheme.
As if the toolbars weren't large
Color schemes could be changed as
far back as... well, Windows 1.0!
The new Accessibility
wizard helps you customize your computer screen, keyboard, and mouse to
fit your needs.
To make items easier
to see, you can increase the contrast, switch to a larger text size, and
have your mouse pointer leave a trail. You can customize keyboard options
and replace computer sounds with visual alerts.
Visual alerts like that big blue
screen that tells you that an exception 0E has occurred in some weird place?
Out Windows Update
Stay up-to-date with
this Web-based extension of Windows 98.
The Update wizard
reviews your system, recommends the updates you need, and can install the
updates you select.
Using Windows Update,
you can quickly find answers to your questions about Windows 98 and get
access to online product assistance.
I have a question about Windows
98.. If I put it on a computer that is not going to be connected to the
internet, I will not need a web browser. How do I uninstall Internet Explorer
4? I won't need this application at all and I do not see it listed in add/remove
programs. Why is that?
Please register your
copy of Windows 98.
If you don't we will hunt you down
and make your life a living hell.
The Microsoft Windows