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This Web Site Is Perfect

Frequently I get spam from assholes who think there is something WRONG with my site. Sorry, It is perfect. :P

"Your site looks old. You should make it look modern"

This site does not use crazy scripting to track your every mouse movement across a dozen different analytics sites.

It does not have annoying useless floating "feedback" bars at the side, no popovers pleading with you to sign up for a mailing list, no seizure inducing "carousel" that can't be stopped in the off chance you happen to see something interesting, no full motion auto-playing videos, and no advertising blocking scripts that prevent you from keeping your computer safe.

This site does not have random animating graphics zooming around - just a few animated GIFs. I don't need parts of my pages to magically fade in or out or slide in from the side as you scroll.

I'm not putting up some bullshit dialogs telling you to accept the use of cookies, in fact this site uses no cookies at all!

I don't pester you to add a mobile cell phone number (EVERYONE has a smartphone, riiiiiigh?), birthday, or your first pet's maiden name, just so I can sell that info to the highest bidder.

I am absolutely NOT adding one of those, useless, annoying spawn-of-clippy help assistants that try to lure you in to some fake chat.

This site does not try and distract you with advertising, links to retarded social media sites, pad extra space out with images for clickbait "news" stories, or move everything around as you move your mouse.

Oh, boo hoo, all that is left to do is actually READ some boring text!

So, ok, perhaps some of the fonts suck. Well, that's your browser's problem, because some pages use the DEFAULT browser font. Unfortunately, most "modern" browsers still choose shit for a default, and require a degree in neurosurgery to change even the most simple settings.

Since I don't pester you with vertical sidebars full of crap, lines of text may seem kind of long if you happen to be one of those kinds of people who run their browser full screen. Oh, dear, you might have to actually run your browser in a window just like Microsoft WINDOWS was designed to do.

Most of my site is designed for a minimum resolution of 640x480. That is the base VGA resolution standardized in 1987 by IBM with the introduction of the PS/2 computers. And there were plenty of higher resolution displays before that. My 286-AT can run higher resolutions. Somehow taking a step backwards to a resolution more comparable to the Commodore 64 or a screen size of an Osborn is somehow an advancement?

I don't give a flying crap about toy "smart" phones. Get a real computer. One with a proper square screen (4:3 forever!), not a silly short screen.

I have literally been in discussions with people telling me that I should make my site look "modern", and when I press them for details about what exactly I should change or add, they can't think of a single damn thing, except repeat "you should make it look modern".
adjective: Stupid. Full of blue LEDs. Changed for no good reason and made unusable. Mindlessly bullshitty. 
noun: See consumertard.

The sad fact is, consumertards are so used to web sites that RAPE them in every way possible, they can not even fathom the idea of a site that does not. They are addicted to it, and outright crave rape.

As for what browser this site is best viewed in: Well, your current choices are Chrome, Chrome, Chrome, MS Chrome, Firefox, and Chrome.

Unlike most sites, this site will work in older browsers back to Netscape 4. (Windows 3.1 would need a PNG plugin). Also unlike most sites, I'm not going to break in your browser the very second a browser "update" is available. Well, until the day Google stops loading pages that don't pay their "security" tax. When that day comes, I'll probably just pull the plug. It won't be the web any more.

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