HomeIE 4 is Evil!GUIsFilesAboutLinks

The Great American Consumertard

Consumertard definition:

A consumertard is a consumer that both consumes and enjoys products with abusive anti-consumer features, such as blinding bright blue LEDs, user tracking, digital restrictions management, or artificially short product lifespans. They will often insist others also use these products, and will believe that products without anti consumer features are "old".

This goes beyond the robotic behaviors of a simple consumeroid, as a consumertard not only puts up with the anti-consumer features, but genuinely believes them to be a plus.

In the not so distant future, electronic devices will transform in to robots and physically rape their users up the butt. This is monetized somehow. A Consumeroid will simply put up with it, and keep buying the products. A consumertard will enjoy it and insist that everyone else buy the same products.

Consumertards enjoy computer cases that are lit up like Xmas trees. Really, they enjoy anything that is lit up with bright blazing burn-out-your-retina blue LEDs. And they are OK with manufacturers saying "Any customer can have a computer in any color that he wants so long as it is black."

Consumertards are brainwashed to believe that all white/beige cases absolutely must turn yellow and will have sharp edges. They also firmly believe that white/beige is absolutely ugly, even though they own a beige couch and white curtains.

A consumertard not only consumes dumb stuff but believes doing so is good. They will actively shun useful or sensible products as "vintage" or "oooooolllld".

Consumertards see no problem using consumer tracking cards (AKA loyalty cards/store cards/discount cards). They choose to ignore privacy issues and fail to understand how data is aggregated.

They will then be completely oblivious when they receive targeted advertising and targeted scams.

In all fairness, tracking cards will become obsolete soon as use of interlinked computerized facial recognition increases.

As if blissful unawareness of consumer tracking was not enough, in one of the latest trends consumertards willingly bring these computerized microphones in to their homes that listen to EVERYTHING THEY SAY OR DO!. The dumbest part is that these devices don't even pretend to DO anything useful at all.

But, you know, they are high-tech and trendy so everyone has to have one.

Consumertards genuinely believe that so-called "self-driving" cars can really drive themselves just as well or better than a human. They do not see the dangers, security implications, or long term maintenance implications.

While current computer technology can handle perhaps 99 percent of mundane driving tasks, there is an often life threatening percentage that requires at least a minimal amount of real intelligence. The technology is usually referred to as "driver assist" instead,  yet consumertards interpret this as "self-driving".

"Driver assist"/"self-driving" technology requires an insane amount of computing complexity. It is incredibly foolish to believe that hackers, the government, or the manufacturer will not eventually find some way to do something bad with them.

Long term maintenance or support is another serious issue. What happens when this technology becomes mundane? Will manufactures thoroughly test systems or updates? There are already enough troubles with faulty airbags, breaking systems, and such. The computer systems involved are at least a million times more complicated.

On the brighter side, with this technology consumertards will earn their Darwin awards as they go splat when their car drives off a cliff.

Consumertards are so dumb, you can literally sell them shit in the form of shit.


On a side note, only a consumertard would think that every symbol in the universe should be added to unicode.

Consumertards love Family Guy. They will watch random clips of Family Guy on their cell phones all day. They genuinely believe that non-stop fart jokes are the funniest thing in the universe. Even a brain-damaged 2-year old would want something more intellectual. Oh, look and it just went off on a random tangent again.

Yet despite being oooooool, for some reason they STILL watch the Simpsons.

Back to stuff about me